Falling for Hope Page 10

  Gabe crawled up on the sofa next to Hope and cradled her in his arms, kissing her shoulder, his tongue unable to resist snaking out for a tiny lick. She murmured something that Gabe couldn't catch.

  "I'm sorry, what was that?" He asked softly.

  "You're certainly my angel, Gabe," she said before her breaths slowed and evened out. She was asleep.

  Chapter 12

  When Hope awoke, she was in her bed, snuggled into her new sheets sharing her pillow with Perseus. A long, masculine arm was under her neck, and she rolled over to see Gabe sleeping next to her, Hermes perched contentedly on his chest. She smiled to herself and snuggled into the crook of his shoulder. His arm came around her possessively, but he remained sleeping. He looked like he was having sweet dreams, a satisfied smile tugging at the corner of his lips.

  Hope smiled to herself as she remembered the afternoon.

  She'd never experienced anything like that before, and wasn't sure she ever would in her lifetime. Her other boyfriends hadn't expressed any kind of desire to pleasure her like that. Neither of them.

  Then again, neither of them had been angels, either. She remembered Gabe's declaration that he was an angel and he was falling. Isn’t that what he’d said? What did that mean? She'd been so distracted by his mouth on her body, so urgent, insistent in his need to taste her that she hadn't been able to ask any questions. What was all that about the tasting, anyway? Did it have something to do with the taste in her mouth? She swallowed. It was either gone, or she'd gotten so used to it, she couldn't notice it any more. Hope looked up at Gabe's face.

  It was beautiful.

  She had no problem believing he was an angel. He was perfect. His features were classic, as if someone had seen him four thousand years ago, and labeled him perfect. He was the definition of beauty. Her Gabe. Gabriel.

  Wait a minute.

  She sat up in the bed, still looking him. Was it possible? She knew her Bible. Gabriel had brought Mary the message that she would be a virgin mother. To Jesus. Her words to the butterfly came back to her. I don't care if he lives in a cardboard box, drives a Gremlin, and works for Jesus Christ! And his uncanny resemblance to the Gabriel in the painting at the museum…Was this Gabe the same?

  Gabe's eyes were still closed, but he let loose with a loud sigh. "Yes."

  Hope was confused. "Yes?"

  "I am the archangel Gabriel, who took the message to Mary that she would birth the Savior. One of God's Four Winds, the archangels close to Him. We are Uriel, Raphael, Michael, and I. I knew Titian. He was an assignment once."

  "But…You went down on me."

  He chuckled, pulling her back down to the crook of his shoulder and turning to face her. Hermes yowled an impertinent meow before jumping off the bed. Perseus snuggled closer to the back of Hope's head, purring loudly in her ear. Hope snuggled into Gabe's chest. "No wonder you're so damn perfect." She realized what she'd said and looked up at him quickly. "I'm sorry. I should probably watch my language."

  Gabe kissed her forehead. "I've got some explaining to do."

  "I'm listening."

  Gabe exhaled and fingered a tendril of Hope's hair absently. "Since the beginning of time, I've been an archangel, a messenger sent forth to deliver messages from The Boss."

  Hope giggled. "The Boss?"

  Gabe smiled. "Yeah, I can see humor in that now. God is a little…fickle at times, about certain things. He enjoys humans a lot. Their language pleases him. He likes the term, and so we use it. He also likes human clothes. When we meet with him, He enjoys donning His corporeal form and dressing up. He gets to show a little of His sense of humor that way." His other hand was stroking her shoulder, and Hope repressed a tremor of desire. She had to concentrate on his words. He was finally telling her what she’d been wanting to know.

  "So, I've been a soulless entity created entirely to do God's bidding for millennia. But apparently, we've become too close to humans, and some of their characteristics rubbed off on some of us. With Uriel it was apathy. With Raphael, it was need. With Michael, it was aggression. With me, it was…I don't know…I'm still not sure what I did to displease Him." He shook his head mildly. "At any rate, He has decided to let us all go. I'm not sure if He's going to replace us or not, but He's decided to let us fall and become human. Of course, there's a caveat."

  "What is it? What's the caveat?" Her heart was pounding in her chest. Was it a temporary thing? Was she going to lose him?

  He looked deep into her eyes, and she saw the pain there. The pain of rejection by the One who had been your father, and she understood it. She felt an undeniable pull towards him.

  Softly, he answered, "We have to fall in love."

  Hope didn't know what to say to that. She was speechless. The pain in his eyes spoke volumes of his feelings of rejection, but she wasn't sure if he was trying to tell her that he couldn't love her for some reason, or that he did love her…

  "So…"

  "So, never having felt a human emotion in my life, I have no idea what love is, Hope. I’m so overwhelmed with feelings and sensations I’ve never felt before. Don't you see? I don't want to be letting you believe that I love you and then find out that I really don't, all because I have no earthly idea what the emotion is supposed to feel like. I'm so confused, I can't see straight."

  Hope felt the sting of tears in the backs of her eyes. She wouldn't cry in front of him. She wouldn't.

  "The thing is, Uriel and Rafael knew without a doubt that their woman was the one for them. I just can't see it. There's no bells clanging, no hollow feeling in my chest. Just this undeniable lust for you, and I don't want to confuse the two emotions."

  Hope pulled away from him and reached for her robe. Wrapping it around her, she turned to him.

  "So, you've been a soulless being devoid of any emotion for years, and now that you've met me, you feel confusion, rejection, lust, and fear of making the wrong choice. Apparently, you can taste now, too." She cinched the robe belt tight. Too tight, but she was mad, who cares? "But you don't know how you feel about me? Well let me tell you something Gabriel. I love you. I've loved you since you first sat in that tiny chair in the children's library and watched me all day long. God knows why!" She ran her hands through her hair in exasperation. "And what you're saying to me right now hurts." His mouth fell open in surprise. "Yeah, Gabe. It hurts me. Your words have the power to rip my heart into pieces, because I love you. I'm going to take a shower now. When I come back, I need for you to either tell me something to make me feel better, or be gone. You can't stay here and continue to hurt me." She turned and stalked to her bathroom, slamming the door.

  Chapter 13

  When Hope emerged from her tearful shower, Gabe was gone. In his place on the bed was a note.

  Dearest Hope,

  I'm terribly sorry about what I said. I had absolutely no intentions of hurting you. It pains me deeply to know you feel that way about me. I need to meet with Him and sort some things. I will pick you up tomorrow night for dinner with your parents. Maybe I can understand some things better by then, and I'll be able to explain. Please accept my sincerest apologies

  Yours,

  Gabriel

  Hope smiled through her anger at his formal tone. She really did love him. She'd been truthful. She heard clanging bells when he touched her. She felt the hollow ache when he was gone. All she could hope was that whatever he did in his meeting, it would knock some sense into him.

  Because she knew he loved her too. He'd all but said it.

  After getting dressed and wrapping her hair in a towel, Hope went onto her balcony and sat on the bench to think.

  He'd said he could taste now, which if he'd never been able to before would explain his urgent need on her couch. He’d gone down on her without giving her much choice in the matter. If she’d been crazy enough to want to get away, she wouldn’t have been able to. Not that she was complaining, just making observations.

  He was sorry. That was a human emotion. He felt rejectio
n. That was human. He felt insecurity. That was definitely human. Gabe was turning human, which meant he was falling in love. She could feel it.

  "He's tricking you, you know."

  Hope looked down at the familiar tickle on her arm, which stung a little. This was definitely an odd butterfly. It was dusk, and he flashed at her.

  "Oh yeah?"

  "Yeah, he's not an angel. And if he was, why would he want you?"

  Hope sat up straighter, moving her arm to get the butterfly to move. It didn't.

  "Look at him. You said so yourself, why would anyone who looks like that want somebody who looks like you?" The insect slowly crawled up her arm, closer to her shoulder. No amount of flinging her arm was dislodging it. Suddenly, her arm stilled. Her muscles were limp, a tingling sensation filled them, and Hope couldn't move. She was paralyzed. Panic filled her.

  "You're a slob. You're fat. You're ugly. You collect fairies and cats. You are a nerd who reads all the time and lives in a fantasy land filled with vampires and dragons. What could he possibly see in you?" As he crawled up her shoulder, the butterfly flashed angrily with each word, the demonic face lighting up in the increasingly darkening night. "He's an angel.” He hissed the last word in her ear with disgust, before flying off into the night, flashing light fading into the darkness.

  Shakily, Hope realized she could move again, and stood, unsteady on her feet. She slowly opened the sliding glass door and let herself into her apartment, looking around her. Chinese take-out containers littered her living room, as did the clothes hastily removed in her and Gabe's passion. She looked at the mess, then down at herself, Gabe's words echoing in her memory, "I just can't see it. There's no bells clanging, no hollow feeling in my chest…"

  Hearing the words in her head, Gabe's low, throaty voice pouring over her body, left her feeling cold, a chill that wouldn't be melted by the flames of passion. She'd been wrong. He didn't love her. He would fulfill his obligation of dinner with her parents, and then move on to try to find his true love, which couldn’t possibly be her.

  Hope went to bed.

  Chapter 14

  Gabe was desperate to meet with The Boss. After the disastrous discussion with Hope, he felt hopeless. He needed guidance.

  Gabe had walked the streets like a vagabond last night, trying to sort out his thoughts. He no longer cared about helping others, he just wanted Hope, and he didn’t know what to do. He felt an uncanny desire to make things right with her, but didn’t have the first clue as to how to go about doing that. Finally, he'd sent the call, and now he waited in the park on the bench he'd been practically living on the last twenty-four hours.

  His woman.

  He knew Hope was his, and he knew he'd hurt her deeply with his uncertainty. He'd seen the tears she wouldn't shed in front of him. He'd heard the pain in her voice. He'd heard the words she'd spoken to him, and what's more, he'd felt them. They'd ripped a part of his newly forged inner being to shreds. Those words, "Your words have the power to rip my heart into pieces, because I love you." And he knew exactly how that felt, because her words had done the same to him.

  Her dreams last night had hurt him too. She dreamed of the two of them making exquisite love, wrapped in each other, soaring to unimaginable heights. Then in her dreams, Gabe had gotten up out of bed and walked out her door, never looking back to hear her plaintive cries. It killed him to know that her dreams had turned him from a loving angel into a heartless man.

  He realized he was turning, now that he’d hurt Hope so badly. He’d worked so hard on her self-esteem just to send it crashing back down with his words. Gabe was ashamed to see her again.

  He did feel a hollow ache in his belly. His body felt heavy, even his eyelids. He just wanted to shut them, right now, to ease the gritty feeling behind them. Just as he was about to do just that, he felt a presence beside him.

  Turning, he saw The Boss. He smiled slightly to himself, as He was dressed in a white tee shirt with the sleeves rolled up, dark blue jeans with the cuffs rolled up as well, and black penny loafers with white socks. A black leather jacket was slung over the back of the bench next to Him.

  "I think you've got the wrong decade, Boss." Gabe said softly. He wasn't in the mood to tease, but The Boss expected it.

  "Retro is in, Gabe. What's going on? You don't like her?"

  "No, I do. Very much. I'm just confused…"

  The Boss leaned back, his elbows behind him on the back of the bench. "About what?"

  "Well, things weren't happening as fast as I thought they should, and I…said some things to Hope. I hurt her deeply, and I can't take them back. But I have to be sure… is she the right one?"

  The Boss chuckled good-naturedly. “She sees through your powers, she laughs at your attempts at humor. She loves you more than life itself. How can you doubt it? Incidentally, that’s what’s rubbed off on you, Gabriel. Doubt.”

  "So, it's really happening?"

  The Boss studied him, a soft smile on His face. "How do you feel?"

  Gabe groaned and rubbed his face impatiently. He'd always answered questions with questions, never giving a straight answer. He saw now why the humans quit going to church. Listening for answers from The Boss was a lot of work. "I feel lousy, if you really must know. I hurt, I'm heavy, my eyelids feel like they’re made of sand paper, and every time I think of Hope I get mixed feelings. I either want to make love to her until I can't walk anymore, or throw up because I messed things up so badly with her."

  "You're having dinner with her parents tonight, aren't you?"

  "Yes."

  "Go. Eat. Her mom's an excellent cook, you'll enjoy it. Take her home and talk to her. Then sleep. When you wake up, you'll feel better. I promise you."

  And He was gone, abandoning Gabe with an odd surge of hope.

  Chapter 15

  Hope was more nervous about dinner with her parents than usual. She knew Gabe was a man of his word, but she hadn’t heard anything from him since the note, and a part of her was terrified he wouldn’t show. Then she’d have to face her parents again, with no boyfriend in tow. Of course, if he didn’t show, her mother would be the least of her worries. Because she wouldn’t have Gabe.

  She paced her tiny living room, picking invisible lint off of pillows, smoothing her skirt, smoothing her hair for the tenth time. She checked herself in the mirror, again to make sure her lip gloss hadn't smudged in the last forty-five seconds, and that the red in her eyes wasn't too noticeable. Finally, a knock came at her door.

  She slowly walked to the door, unsure of Gabe's intentions. If he was only here to fulfill his sense of duty, Hope wasn't sure she'd be able to face a cold rejection of her affections. Placing her hand on the knob, she swallowed past the lump in her throat, aware that this might be the last time she would get to spend with him. After this, his prior obligations to her would be met, and he wouldn't have to come back.

  Hope held her breath as she opened the door to a devastatingly handsome sight. Gabe had worn a tailored suit with a gold tie and handkerchief peeking out of his pocket that matched the flecks in his eyes. Her knees turned to oatmeal at the sight of him. He was holding an enormous bouquet of orange calla lilies in a vase out to her.

  "Wow, Gabe. Those are beautiful." She took them, and turned to put them on her coffee table, so that they were the focal point in the room. When she turned back to face him, he was already there, inches from her. She could smell his spicy sweetness, even before his mouth lowered to hers.

  He kissed her with a tenderness he'd never used before, and if his arms hadn't come around her waist, she would have crumpled to the floor under the tender ministrations. His lips were sweet, taking their time with her, as if this was the last kiss they would share. Hope whimpered, her hands clinging to the lapels of his jacket, unwilling to let him go. Her perfect angel.

  Gabe pulled back first, his face still close, his eyes searching hers, but he didn't speak. She could see his eyes, rimmed with red from exhaustion or tears, and it gave her
a fleeting glimpse of hope. They darted back and forth between her eyes, and she wanted to reassure him, but wasn't sure of what, so she didn't say anything. She was sure hers looked the same.

  "I promised to go to dinner with your parents, and then afterward, we need to talk." His voice was quiet, but it begged for no arguments, so Hope obliged, afraid to ask. So she nodded.

  He kissed her then, hard, quick and urgent, before turning to grab her purse and hand it to her.

  The drive to her parents' house was unusually quiet. In the past, they'd had very little uncomfortable silence while they were together, but tonight was different. Hope was wrapped deeply in her thoughts of Gabe's pending goodbye, while he was presumably wrapped up in his particular choice of wording.

  Finally, she couldn't stand it anymore. "You look really nice, tonight." She watched his knuckles whiten on the steering wheel.

  "So do you, Hope. Lovely. Exquisite." His voice, as always, made her feel warm, like she'd just enveloped herself in a luxurious bubble bath, scented with spicy sweetness. For a moment, she almost forgot he was breaking up with her after tonight.

  "I've seen your dreams, Hope. I'm really sorry that's how you feel." He glanced at her quickly before returning his eyes to the road, his face etched with pain.

  "Wh-what do you mean?"

  "Your dreams. I've seen them." He chuckled self-consciously. "I'm a bit of an interpreter." One of his hands reached over and clasped hers tightly. Hope relished the comfort it gave her, as her spirits soared at his words. "I'm not leaving you." His hand squeezed hers, and she felt tears returning again, and a sob escaped before she could stop it. Relief at his words flooded her, and she went limp in her seat.